SO
MUCH
HYPE
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Teacher to me (photographer): this is Mohammed.
Me: and last name?
Teacher: -shrug- his name is Mohammed, hes the only Mohammed at this school.
Mohammed: -is in preschool, doesnt know his last name-
Me: -looks up Mohammed in system- Nadir?
Teacher: sure, yeah. Sounds right.
Me: this will come back to bite me later.
After merging my camera data with another photographer: there's two Mohammed Nadirs. -goes to talk it out with secretary-
Me: -shows two photos- which of these kids is Mohammed?
Secretary: -points to the one I did not shoot- that's Mohammed.
Me: I was told this one was Mohammed. -points to my student-
Secretary: well, theres only one Mohammed.
Secretary takes me to the break room to chat with two teachers.
Me: can one of you tell me which one is Mohammed?
Teacher A points to my student.
Teacher B points to not my student.
Both: that's Mohammed.
Teacher B says that her Mohammed is in her class and is definitely Mohammed Nadir.
Me: so who is Mystery Mohammed?
Teachers Aide walks by: who are you trying to find?
Me: -turns laptop around- can you identify this child?
Teachers Aide: oh! That's Mohammed!
So theres two Mohammeds. Secretary cant find data for Mystery Mohammed. No one can find his name. All we know is he's in preschool.
Me: okay! Can you direct me to the teacher?
Teachers Aide: sure.
I have my laptop open to the photo as I'm walking down the hall, updating data as we go looking for this kid. Checking hairstyles and clothes in vase we see him in the hall. Buffalo check shirt. Hi-top fade. Secretary is freaking out a little that she lost all data for entire student.
We pass the library.
A class is exiting.
I see the buffalo check shirt. I see the hi-top fade. Kid is wearing a mask.
Teachers aide taps him.
Me: is this you?
Child: no, that's Mohammed.
Identical child is Mohammed's cousin. They dressed alike for picture day because their mothers thought it would be cute.
Cousin: I dont know his last name. His mom never told me.
Teachers aide leads me to classroom where we see...
MOHAMMED!
Me: Hi, hello Mrs preschool teacher. I need to know the name of this child-
Teacher: that's Moham-
Me: Mohammed, yes. We gathered. What's his LAST name?
Teacher:
Teacher: Mohammed, what's your last name?
Mohammed: -stares at the wall, then points to a picture of a duck-
Teacher: his last name is not 'duck.' I'll go look it up for you.
Five minutes later and the reason we couldn't find his name was because he spells it MUHammad. All of this because the teacher swore he was the only kid in the school with the most common name in the world.
End scene, exit left pursued by a migraine.
This sounds like the EXACT flavor of bullshit literally everyone I know whos' had to deal with the education system in Ohio has told me about. Honestly I'm just glad it didn't escalate to a fistfight in the parking lot somehow.
I hope that you’re happy, ‘cause he sure not! -What. (2013)
Thank you, Goodnight. I hope you’re happy! - Make Happy (2015)
Make Happy (2015) // Inside (2021)
I CAN’T THIS IS SO GOOD
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This tortoise loves shower time!
The Radiated Tortoise is known for this “dancing” behavior during periods of heavy rain in its native range (dry areas of southern Madagascar).
